Transformers: More then meats the dying
by Sinclair16
Summary: Starring Optimus Prime and Megatron. Landing on Earth to fight one another in battle, the leaders of the Autobots and Decepticons mistaken the nearby critters as their soldiers.
1. Starting the movie

Author's Note: The Story you've all patiently waited for has started, the Transformers/Happy Tree Friends fan-fiction! But first, let's wait for the story to come…

The Ark, at night… 

Shockwave: when's that movie coming?

Air Razor: chill, one eye. The movie should be arriving soon.

Bumblebee: This is great, all of us appear in the movie, plus Optimus Prime and Megatron play the biggest roles in it! I bet our merchandise will be sold in the Happy Tree Friend Store.

Tidal Wave: Tidal Wave hopes movie not makes me bad looking…

Arcee: The creators of the Happy Tree Friends said both leaders die in this episode of the Happy Tree Friends.

Starscream: what's new? One of them or both have died at least once in each series.

Devastator: ME SMASH!

Hound: Shut up, pea-brain! You make even Grimlock look like he has average IQ.

Girmlock: GRIMLOCK NOT DUMB! DOGGY'S COLOR UGLY LOOKING!

Hound: SAY THAT TO MY FACE, PUNK!

Grimlock: GIRMLOCK JUST DID, DOGGY!

Soundwave: save the brawl for later, Buzzsaw and Laserbeak have returned with the movie.

Ironhide: Thank goodness.

_Blurr says how glad the movies here in so many words, everyone, including me, lost track of what he said._

Soundwave: this is a perfect time to test my TV mode.

Soundwave transforms into a TV that looks like his cassette player mode, but bigger and wider. Laserbeak inserts movie.

Fortress Maximus: nothing can ruin this moment!

Then Soundwave burps it back up.

Jazz: Funny how gags like that happen.

Prowl: I hear that.

Squawktalk: Ditto

The movie is inserted back in again.

Well, now the movie's up, enjoy yourselves!


	2. On Earth

Chapter 2: On Earth

This is where the movie starts.

Two meteors head for Earth. One contained the Leader of the Autobots, Optimus Prime, and his medical officer, Ratchet.

Ratchet: Are we there yet?

Optimus Prime: Very soon, Ratchet.

Ratchet: How soon?

Optimus Prime: As much as the time to make coffee.

Ratchet: That _soon_?!

Optimus Prime: What'd you expect? It's the miracles of spacebridges. Anyway, we should start landing now. Activate landing gear Ratchet.

Ratchet: um… Optimus?

Optimus Prime: Yes?

Ratchet: Remember back at Cybertron when I told you this thing has malfunctions?

Optimus Prime: Yes?

Ratchet: The fact this thing has no landing gear is one of them.

Optimus Prime: Then activate the shields and defenses.

Ratchet: What for?

Optimus Prime: Prepare for crash landing.

Ratchet: Oh boy…

Meanwhile, on the other meteor, is the leader of the Decepticons, Megatron, and that one who tries to steal leadership from him.

Starscream: I have a name, you know!

Sorry about that.

Megatron: Activate landing gear!

Landing gear activates, but is smashed off by huge trees.

Megatron: On second though, prepare for crash landing.

Starscream jumps out of meteor, transforms into jet mode, and flies off.

Megatron: Sissy…

The meteor then smashes through a hill.

Megatron: …but smart.

The meteor is shown heading toward a town (3 guesses to who's town it is)

Megatron: I wonder how Optimus is doing…

On the other meteor, Optimus Prime and Ratchet aren't faring any better…

Ratchet: I think we should fasten our seat belts…

Optimus Prime: Come on, the landing can't be that bad…

The meteor then smashes through a sign. Meanwhile, a brown beaver wearing a carpenter belt and a hard hat (for some reason, his arms are cut off) had built a house (well done for handless beaver).

Handy: I have a name too, you know!

Critics!

Handy: Well, it was hard to do, but I final did it!

At that moment, the meteor carrying the Autobots smashes it.

Handy: Hey!

The wooden planks then impale Handy and give him a slow, painful death.

Handy: I hate you.

Who doesn't?

Anyway, the meteor finally crash-lands on clear ground, but not before it smashes several buildings and kills several Tree Friends. Optimus Prime is flung out mid-crash. Ratchet climbs out of the wreckage and runs over to Prime.

Ratchet: Now we see why we should always wear seatbelts.

Optimus Prime: Instead of making smart remarks, help me up and to a medical station.

Sniffles: You mean the hospital?

Ratchet: Yeah, do you know where that is, midget-sized tiny-ears elephant?

Sniffles: I'm not an elephant! And I have a name, you know!

I've really got to stop doing this gag in this chapter.

Sniffles: Who said that?

Me

Sniffles: Oh

Ratchet: Where's the hospital, anyway?

Sniffles: Over there.

Ratchet: Thanks for the help, elephant!

Sniffles: **My name is Snif-**

Sniffles is cut off as Ratchet crushed him to death with his foot as he runs to the Hospital. Ratchet takes no notice. Back with Megatron…

Megatron: I knew I should have installed a seat belt in here…

Meanwhile, Pop flirts (50's style) with Mom while Cub plays with Chick. Disco Bear is nearby flirting (70's style) with Sweetie (and failing).

DB (Disco Bear): Feel my charm, chicky-boo, chicky-boo-boo-boo.

Sweetie: Are you obnoxious, or just plain stupid?

DB: That's for me to know and for you to find out…

Garfield walks by.

Garfield: Today, he's both, more of the latter then the former though.

DB: Hey!

Suddenly, Megatron's meteor appears and smashes Pop's face off. He wails in pain. Mom, without a first aid kit and no medical knowledge, does the only thing she knows to ease Pop's pain…put him out of his misery. She takes out a gun and shoots through Pop's head, killing him. Sweetie points to the meteor and screams, but DB takes no notice.

DB: Wait here, sweet stuff. I've got something for you…

As DB's back is turned, the meteor smashes and crushes Sweetie. Megatron comes out, battered and damaged. DB turns around with a ring, then looks up at Megatron and freaks out.

DB: That's the ugliest thing I ever saw!

Megatron: **WHO ARE YOU CALING UGLY, LUNKHEAD!?**

Megatron blasts DB with his Cannon, reducing DB to a smoldering crisp. Mom picks up Chick and Cub, worried.

Mom: What happened to you?!

Megatron: I'll explain, but first get me to a hospital…

With that, Megatron falls down, leaving Mom to carry him to the hospital…

Author's notes: What do you think? READ AND REVIEW, FOLKS!


	3. Hospital mates

Chapter 3:Hospital mates

At the hospital...

Ratchet:Hello, my friend here is pretty badly injured. Do you have a room open?

Lumpy:Why sure, our hotel serves only the finest customers!

Ratchet:What are you talking about? This is a hospital, not a hotel.

Lumpy:It is?

Ratchet:Yes.

Optimus Prime:Well, thanks for the help, Fortress Maximus.

Ratchet:What?

Lumpy:That's my name?

Optimus Prime:Why else would I call you that?

Lumpy:In that case...I MUST LIVE AS FORTRESS MAXIMUS!!!

Lumpy runs off.

Ratchet:Are you okay, Optimus?

Optimus Prime:Dandy.

Ratchet:I think we better get you to your room.

He does, and a moment later, Mom arrives with Megatron and Cub.

Mom:Do you have a room open?

Cuddles:Yeah, but your friend will have to share a room. Say, what happened to your kid?

Mom:That guy was heavy to carry and I dropped him and he crushed my son. And since then, he's been babbling that he killed Laserbeak.

Megatron:I did!

Cuddles:Wow, you better move him to the room.

Mom:Gotcha.

Megatron:Thanks for getting me here, Squawktalk.

Mom:I'M NOT SQUAWKTALK!

Meanwhile, Optimus Prime is lying on a bed.

Ratchet:I found the bug here, your vision sensors are broken, and you'll be seeing the wrong things for a while. I can't repair this kind of damage, but this hospital should.

Ratchet walks to the front door.

Ratchet:You nurses can come in, now!

Giggles, Petunia, and Flaky come in, wearing very revealing nurse outfits that look more like bikinis.

Ratchet:Sorry, girls, this is a hospital. If you want to turn on horny guys, then there's a strip club a few blocks from here. Where a the nurses?

All three girls:We _are_ the nurses.

Ratchet:Really?

Giggles:I swear, whoever came up with this is dead.

Optimus Prime looks at Giggles, Petunia, and Flaky, all wearing naughty nurse clothing perverts like.

Optimus Prime:Wow, you look rather splendid.

Giggles, Petunia, and Flaky(all blushing):Thanks!

Optimus Prime:I'd like to get my hands on you...

Giggles (now a bit nervous):Um...thanks for the compliment.

Optimus Prime:Such nice curves and shapes...

Petunia:You're scaring us now.

Optimus Prime:In fact, I want to do something to you seen only in lemon fics.

Flaky:EEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!! Why the hell would we have sex with you?!

Optimus Prime picks up a nearby toaster.

Optimus Prime:What are you talking about? I don't wanna do that to you, guys! I'm talking to this thing!

He points to toaster.

Giggles(To Ratchet):He's was attracted to that?

Ratchet:All of us Transformers are. Well, I better go do something random while you heal up. Later.

Optimus Prime:You too.

As soon as Ratchet left, Megatron is wheeled in. The leader of the Autobots takes no notice however.

Cuddles:This guy is suffering the same vision problem the other guy has.

Megatron looks at the girls.

Megatron:Wow. That is sexy.

Giggles:STAY AWAY FROM US.

Megatron picks up a nearby toaster.

Megatron:I'm talking about this, not you bhes.

Flaky:Hey!

Petunia:Hey!

Giggles:Hey!

Optimus Prime:Hey! _Transformers: The Movie_ is on! Give me the remote!

Prime grabs the remote and changes the channel. Megatron watches as well.

Cuddles(eying Giggles):So Giggles, want to go on a date tonight?

Giggles:Sorry, Cuddles. I'm working overtime tonight.

Cuddles:Oh...

Cuddles then starts to squeeze Giggles butt.

Cuddles:Then can all you girls pose for some pictures that are entirely tasteful?

POW!!!! Giggles punches Cuddles.

Giggles:LOOK, PAL. I NOT ANYONE'S SEX THING.

Petunia:What's wrong with all these people?! Is this hospital full of horny guy!?!?

Random guy:WOW, HOT STUFF!

Another random guy:I CAN'T BREATH!

A third random guy whistles.

All three random guys:HHHEEELLLLLOOOOO NURSES!!!!

Megatron:Does that answer your question?

Flaky:Let's go kick these guys' asses.

Giggles and Petunia:agreed.

The girls do just that and Optimus Prime and Megatron continue to watch TV without noticing each other. A week later...

Cuddles:You both have healed up quickly.

Optimus Prime:Thanks for your help, Bumblebee.

Cuddles:But I'm not-

Megatron:We better leave now.

Both Robots jump out of their beds. They glance at one another several times, but don't give a second thought.

Cuddles:Wait, guys. I haven't finished repairing your vision sens-

Cuddles is cut off as he is crushed to death by Megatron's foot. Neither robot takes notice.

Walking in opposite directions, both leaders crash through the hospital walls, causing it to collapse, killing everyone else inside at that moment.

Optimus Prime:I wonder where Ratchet is...

Meanwhile, at the amusement park...

Ratchet:What do you mean I'm too tall for this ride!?

Lumpy:Sorry. As Fortress Maximus, that's my job.

With Megatron...

Megatron:I wonder what happened to Starscream...

Starscream is selling ice cream to random HTFs.

Both Optimus Prime and Megatron have walked to opposite sides of wherever-the-HTFs-live when it hits them.

Both:WTF?! I SAW MY ENEMY IN THIS TOWN!!

Something they should have known the week before.

Things like that happen in real life,oddly enough. Read and Review, people!


	4. And now intermission

Chapter 4:And now an intermission...

_Suddenly, the entire screen goes blank then these words appear on Soundwave's screen._

END OF ACT ONE. PLEASE INSERT DISK TWO.

Airrazor:What the-

Tidal Wave:Why movie stop?

Soundwave:I only though disk two was the bonus stuff. Anyways...

_Soundwave turns to LaserBeak_

Soundwave:Laserbeak! Go get the second disk!

_Laserbeak flies off _

Starscream:So what do we do while we wait?

Soundwave:I have pictures of that party with the HTFs. Wanna see?

_Everyone nods their heads._

Soundwave:Alright. Here's Grimlock and Devastator beating Evil Flippy to death...

Grimlock:BEAR THINK HE KING, BUT ME GRIMLOCK KING!!

Soundwave:Here's that fat 70's bear hitting on Arcee. Now here's what Arcee did to him...

_A picture of a dead Disco Bear floating through space is shown._

Soundwave:Now here's the talent show put up by Giggles and Petunia. Here's all the auctioneers for the show...

_A huge crowd is shown._

Soundwave:And here's who got in...

_Soundwave and Co. seen._

Shockwave:Like's it's my fault they pulled the trigger while I was in gun mode...

Soundwave:Now here's me and co. doing our stuff. Now it shows both girls getting jealous of the attention I'm getting. Now it shows both girls trying to gain attention by pulling me off the set, then trying to attract attention themselves...

_LOL ensues as it show Giggles and Petunia wearing slutty looking clothing riding on Grimlock._

Soundwave:This of course failed. Now it shows both girls trying my tricks and failing. Now we see Giggles and Petunia so pissed they start blaming their bad luck on Grimlock and kicking him. Here's Grimlock's reaction...

_LOL ensues again with Grimlock chasing Giggles and Petunia. Several other HTFs (and a micro-master) are shown stomped to death in the chase._

Soundwave:Now me and co. ask what's wrong. We forgot what they said, but it was along the lines of that they were the star and we're taking their audience. I said if you girls wanted attention, then all you two have to do is this!

_It shows Giggles and Petunia kissing each other on stage. LOL ensues._

SoundWave:Now here's Flaky and Flippy admitting how they feel for each other and then making out passionately.

Everyone else:Awwww!

Soundwave:And here's then seeing us take pictures of them kissing.

Hound:Come to think of it, you disappeared at the time this picture was taken. Where did you go?

Soundwave:This is what they did to me and co.

_LOL ensues with picture of Soundwave and co. drifting aimlessly through space._

Soundwave: And now here's all of us with the HTFs and Optimus Prime and Megatron posing around a huge sign. And here's what happened afterwards...

_It shows the HTFs crushed to death by the huge sign and the Transformers looking dumbfounded. Laughter and applase are the reaction._

Soundwave:And who said picture shows are boring?

Prowl:Laserbeak hasn't returned with the second disk yet. What do we do now?

Jazz:I know! Let's watch all the HTF DVDs!

Shockwave:No! Let's watch all Transformer generation 1 DVDs!

One half of crowd:HAPPY TREE FRIENDS!!!!!

Other half:TRANSFORMERS!!!!!

_A huge brawl breaks out and lasts for an hour._

Soundwave:Can't we watch both?

_And they do._

Devastator:BIRDIE BACK WITH DISK.

_Laserbeak places disk into Soundwave._

Fortress Maximus:Let the fun continue!!!

_Disk pops out again and smacks into Starscrem's head._

Starscream:The author really has to stop this.

Me:Sorry

_The disk is placed back in, and movie continues._

Well, hope you've enjoyed that bit of randomness! I'll get back to the movie next chapter. See you then!


End file.
